SAO: Gleam Eyes

Welcome to Sword MongoBongo Art Online. Kirito and Asuna face the boss monster Gleam Eyes... and the fight ends with rather predictable results for one of my sets. It's 35 pics of family-friendly (not really) gaming fun at mongo-bongo-art.com. And as always, members get the set download is free for next month or thereabouts.

As if the world needed further proof that I should never be allowed to create a videogame, here's my rendition of Sword Art Online. If you are like most people and have no fucking clue what Sword Art Online (SAO) is, it's an anime based around the concept of VR MMORPGs. Well to be more exact it is a series of Japanese light novels (books with a few illustrations here and there) that got turned into an anime. But since I don't read Japanese and books are the tool of the Devil, I just rely on visual stimulation and TV/internet for everything worthwhile in life - so therefore it is based off an anime. I said so. If you want to check it out, the English dubbed version is playing on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim late on Saturday nights (like 12:30 or something). And coincidentally enough, the episode that introduces Gleam Eyes is playing tomorrow. But if you can't stay up that late, don't get the channel, or if you are a giant pretentious weeaboo faggot like me and think the subtitles are better than dubs, then you can watch them online.




And since I haven't checked out any movies lately, I'll instead wax poetic about SAO and review it. I have a love/hate relationship with this anime. Mostly because it reinforces almost every carebear delusion in MMOs, epitomized in the form of our hero and main character - Kirito.

First is the whole "solo" thing. Most MMO players are solo. And for Kirito it's because he is so noble and doesn't want to see other people get hurt during his dangerous quest that only he can handle... Yeah. In reality players solo because they are asocial douches in one way or another (xp/gold hoarding, low idiot tolerance, poor social skills, etc). I can say that with some authority, being a solo-er myself in almost every game I play. And of course, like every solo badass *eyeroll* he is dressed all in black. Cuz they are like a dangerous lone wolf and stuff... :-/

Then there is the whole "honorable PvP" thing. Apparently proper MMO combat is supposed to happen 1v1. Cuz that's why it's an MMO with tons of players. So you can fight one person. Right? And true PvP skill of course comes from being really high level. So high that your opponents can't damage you, and you can just ROFLstomp them in return...

And my favorite lesson from SAO is about griefers/gankers. Apparently they are sociopaths in real life and literally will try to kill you outside the game. Because that's just how they are. People are exactly the way they are in-game. Oh! And GMs. All GMs are power-mad megalomaniacs and real-life criminals (they are just griefers with Admin access). Of course they suck at the game they create/run, and can only defeat you Kirito thru the use of hacks and cheats. They are inherently bad and evil people... Right up until they are working with you. In which case the cheats and hacks are entirely justified and give you Kirito the edge you he deserves. The hypocrisy goes on and on like this. Suffice to say, it thoroughly reinforces the mindset of the typical MMO player. Yet still remains kinda amusing and entertaining.

Credits:

Victoria 4.2 by Daz3D

Lali's Bits v1 by Erogenesis

Warrior Maiden Braith by Surreality

Mitsu Hair by 3DUniverse (the all-purpose anime hair!)

Moonsong Hair by Valea

Peppermint by Aery Soul (see Alfaseed for similar)

EarthBreaker by Alfaseed

Michael 4 by DAZ

Satanica Real M3 Gens by Satanica Inc.

Michael 4 Creature Creator Add Ons by Daz3D

Tauran for M4 by RawArt

Morphing Python by Daz3D

Chronicles Desire by Orion1176

Beach Hair by Valea

Notorious for M4/H4 by Littlefox

M4 Casual Wear by Lobo75

Elucidator & Dark Repulser by s0ulwingz

Hall of Lore-Naz by Daz3D