Sunday, March 27, 2016

Easter, Superheroes, & Pr0n

Right, so haven't posted in a while. First off, Happy Easter! Which of course wouldn't be complete without a bunny girl. Got some other shit that I'm working on as well, but I'll talk about that in a later post in a couple days or so. Got lots of other crap to drone on about first, like what the hell I've been up to lately. Mostly just dicking around. Pretty much no work AT ALL, on anything of consequence for a few months. Completely lazy. Was doing some MMO raiding for a bit until that got boring. Tried out a bunch of other MMOs, nothing really stuck. Did XCOM of course. And binge watched alot of series. Recently checked out some superhero shows and saw Batman v Superman on Friday so figured I'd do some reviews.

Starting with the big one, Batman v Superman. Not all that great, sadly. It wasn't terrible, but wasn't very good. And surprisingly Ben Affleck wasn't the worst part. Went in expecting to hate on him hard, but he actually did an okay job. And it was just okay - his version of Bruce Wayne was just 24/7 "Grrrr.... I'm consumed by rage!". So not alot of depth, but at least he didn't screw it up. Though he did use alot of guns and kill alot of people, which last I checked were like the only two things that Batman is supposed to be completely against - but whatever. With all the other weird crap in the movie you just sorta shrug that off.

If there is one word I would use to describe the movie it would be "tedious drama". Because that is one word. Really. But yeah, lots of drama. Longggg drawn out drama. In sepia and graytone! First 10 minutes of the movie were just excruciating. Everybody already knows Batman's backstory. And if they don't, a tediously artsy retelling of it isn't going to explain it. But after that crappy shit part things start to pick up. It's still packed full of "drama" and washed-out graytone, but at least it's developing plot. It's grim-dark gritty and hammers you with "drama" throughout, with no humor to lighten the mood even once. So put on your serious pants. Cuz this movie is serious business... or something.

So anyway, Superman is the same same as last movie. Grim-dark gritty and all that. Which was fine. Not very inspirational, but still okay. Lois Lane was an extraneous damsel who needed saving, and did crazy shit like throw away the spear, then go back to get the spear, then get trapped, just so Superman can stop fighting for a second, save her, and then go back to fighting. If you're going to make a character so damn pointless, why even bother having them in the film? They could have done a much better job with her. Wonder Woman kicked ass. I think mostly because they didn't give her many lines, so she didn't get covered with grim-dark grittiness. She just got to look hot and kick ass. Will be interesting to see how her movie turns out. Hopefully won't be directed by Snyder. And for the one character that really really sucked ass - Lex Luthor. His character has historically been a criminal mastermind, a plotting genius, a racist xenophobe, and generally cool, calm, collected, and in control. But in this film they made him a mop-headed Mark Zuckerberg with a nervous twitch and giggles alot. Oh, and he's an insane Darkseid fanatic.... Yeah. His character just didn't work. It's like he wanted to be the Joker instead of Lex Luthor. Really fucked up every scene involving him - which was alot of the movie unfortunately.

Other easter eggs and drops they included were kinda cool. The other Justice League characters - Cyborg, Flash, and Aquaman. Gonna be weird seeing Khal Drogo as Aquaman, but guess it's better than if they used Vince from Entourage - LOL. Also did a cool tie-in with the Flashpoint story. And some future vision of Darkseid's invasion with Parademons and the whole lot. And Doomsday was pretty cool. All the crap building up to Doomsday was kinda silly - but once he was out and about it was kinda fun.

In any case, the movie was just "meh". Wasn't great, wasn't complete shit. Just was. Matinee tickets at best. Or catch it on netflix or whatever later.

Next up is Jessica Jones. So yeah, this one started out really good. First few episodes were kick ass. Doctor Who as the bad guy was epic. Jessica Jones was hard and edgey. But as the show went on it just... it just fucking turned to shit. It became like a constant shitshow of Law & Order. By the end of the season every single white guy is psychotic and/or evil, every single black guy is noble and awesome, all women are right all the time, and just blah, blah, blah.

Fucking come on, man. That shit does not make a good show. It's like some ass-clown is trying to forcefeed me affirmative action as entertainment. Doesn't work. It just becomes offensive and boring. Which sucks because so much of the rest of the series was fantastic. Beneath all "message" bullshit there was a really great story. Pity they didn't focus on telling it. Personally I don't recommend the show. But I have a rather low tolerance for people trying to cram their ideologies down my throat under the guise of "entertainment". If you aren't as easily as triggered as I am (I had to retreat to a safe space and get counseling), then you might wanna check it out. But don't say I didn't warn you.

And last but not least is Daredevil. Similar to Jessica Jones, this one started out strong and got worse over time. But for different reasons. And not quite as bad. The fight throughout are pretty good - acrobatic and well-choreographed, but after awhile they just get kinda tired. I found myself fast-forwarding thru them after a point cuz they stopped doing anything to progress the plot. It was just fighting for fighting's sake. Boring.

Anyway it starts out strong with good villains and the mystery of "just what are these nefarious individuals up to?". And that's pretty much the draw of the entire series. Sure as hell isn't the main characters and their poorly defined motives. Which just become even more threadbare and transparent as the series continues. Murdoch doesn't seem to have any decently justified motivation for abandoning the law and going all vigilante. He never seemed to experience the law failing him which would drive him to that extreme. So we just sorta need to accept he gets to beat people up, and then listen to him condescendingly preach about justice. And lump on to that all the weepy melodramatic bullshit of the other main characters relationships. Where the only way to deal with problems is to start yelling and/or crying while flipping out over relatively minor shit. About halfway thru the first season I completely wrote off the main crew as lost causes. And it only gets worse once you hit season 2.

Frankly, the main characters suck and the only reason to watch is for Wilson Fisk. He's easily the most interesting person in the show. He actually has believable motivations and background. And his sidekick Wesley seems like far more of a devoted friend than among the relationships of Daredevil and his band of jackasses. In fact, the first season is more of Fisk's tragic story than it is Daredevil's ascension to hero. It's Fisk and Wesley who actually have a purpose and make sense in their own misguided ways. While Daredevil just sort of bumbles along getting his ass kicked, does alot of self-pitying whining, followed by hypocritical justifications.

So the first season is worth checking out. It's pretty good, even if they do steal shit from other movies and shows (the writers had a serious hard-on for The Matrix). You can even make a drinking game out of it for every time you recognize a scene from a different movie. (You'll get drunk real quick.) Season 2 isn't quite as good. It has Elektra, but she all too quickly devolves into a damsel that needs saving. It also has the "all Asians are evil ninjas". I shit you not, they are all evil and they all know martial arts - every, single, one. Totally not racist. And it has twice as much whiny melodrama from the main characters. Y'know what, just skip the second season, it sucked ass. SPOILER - There's crappy ninjas, bad Punisher drama, Elektra shows up, turns out she is the ninja-Jesus, and then she dies, but since she's Jesus she'll come back to life. Fin.

Also RedRobot has three sets - some new, some not so new. The newest is Captain Maria and the Goblin Treasure, with a pirate queen getting a gangbang from a pair of sinister goblins. Then there is the continuation of the the Helen Black story where she encounters Jeh the Succubus and her vampire minions, and get a rough pounding from futas. And then there is Hallow's Escape from the Minotaur's Lair. So check them out! His stuff just keeps getting better.

And also Zen has his Practicing Witchcraft set which he released quite awhile ago. A sexy young blonde witch-in-training has a summons go wrong and gets double-stuffed with demon cock. I put it up on the site a month or so ago, but forgot to make a blog post about it. So if you haven't already checked it out, go buy it and give it a look-see.


Redrobot said...

I can concur with your opinion of Jessica Jones. The feminism was rampart throughout the entire series. That same "Grrl-power" theme is pretty rampant in Supergirl as well. Really slows down the show. I also wish that the Marvel series would tie in more together too with the MCU. They live in a world where magic, aliens, and giant robots runamok, but it's hardly ever mentioned. I can understand them wanting to build these series as their own, but the lack of it really stood out in Jessica Jones, so much so that it could've literally been in a seperate universe. Sometimes I wish it was.

metricamx said...

Good to see you back. Great reviews'

Anonymous said...

Have you got around to listening to Hamilton? If you haven't, it is, I kid you not, a historical rap/hip-hop broadway musical. It's also kickass. I know I'm late to the bandwagon on this one, but you really need to go listen to the original cast recording on youtube if you have spare time. Could have some possibilities for the annual 'MURICA set as well.

MongoBongo said...

@Anon - Alexander Fucking Hamilton... the douche that brought us taxes, which yeah was instrumental for creating a nation, but still fuck him. He's an ass. Not to mention being the driving force behind the Whiskey Rebellion and killing US citizens over aforementioned taxes. Fuck. That. Guy. .... Still, will check out the musical and see what it's all about. But given my feelings about him, reckon it won't go well.

MongoBongo said...

Goddamn! Okay "Hamilton" was pretty fucking good. Thanks for the tip on that! Was fictionalized more than a little, and lionized Hamilton a bit too much in the beginning for my tastes (course I'm biased). But was still damn well-done! Thumbs up.

Redrobot said...

The songs by King George III were the best in the entire play. Really steals the show.

johnny smith said...

Good to hear from you again. I hope a new set is in the works. Have you considered creating a Patreon account? X3Z and 3DZen have had success through that, although you may have trouble with copyright if you do any paradies. One of my patreons got in trouble for a DC based game and other character images, so they needed to switch to creater owened material.

johnny smith said...

Good to hear from you again. I hope a new set is in the works. Have you considered creating a Patreon account? X3Z and 3DZen have had success through that, although you may have trouble with copyright if you do any paradies. One of my patreons got in trouble for a DC based game and other character images, so they needed to switch to creater owened material.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, Hamilton was definitely an ass, but that made the entire musical work. He had to be the ying to Burr's yang, right? In any case, @Redrobot was right. King George III made the entire thing fucking exceptional.

"You'll be back..."

Anonymous said...

Wow dude if you got affirmative action subtext from Jessica Jones and you're response is 'F- that', you're probably a racist.

MongoBongo said...

ikr... cuz if you don't think that brow-beating ideology is an adequate substitution for decent story-telling then you are probably Hitler.

Anonymous said...

Judging from your Jessica Jones and Star Wars VII review, looks like you just have an axe to grind against women and minorities.

You say every white guy was evil and every woman/black was good and noble and right.

Uh what? Were we even watching the same show? There were like two black guys who were recurring characters and several white guys, the cop being one of them who was clearly a good guy and ended up getting the blonde radio host. The only expressly evil white guy was Kilgrave. The show was following the comic and they probably added in the good white cop to make easily triggered mongs like you happy. Didn't work I guess, you still think there's an "agenda." What agenda exactly? You think people are going to hate white males even though most MCU properties feature white male heroes? Jesus Christ, you are easily triggered. At least you got that part right.

Also Jessica herself is unsympathetic and flawed protag, but let's ignore that because it doesn't fit into your narrative.

Please stick to making 3D commissions about whores getting fucked hard, that seems to be what you're best at.

Although to be fair, your hate of women probably helps you render them in sexual situations so well (I like the choking and hitting) so I guess keep thinking what you're thinking and being angry at bitches.

But maybe be more self-aware of it? Or don't, I don't really care. It's just funny to see the personalities behind these things. TRUMP 2016, am I right? HAHA.

MongoBongo said...

Wow... that is some anger-filled invective there! Well probably not anger, more like "righteous fury"? Amirite? Or it could just be trolling. Never know.

Regardless, I could write up a long detailed response explaining my views, but why? It would never change your mind. You're already convinced that I "have an axe to grind against women and minorities" (that last bit is particularly amusing). So believe whatever you want. Cheers!

Anonymous said...

Cheers to you too! It's pandering to women and niggers after all that they didn't make Luke Cage evil! You could write a detailed response? I doubt it. I wrote a detailed response and it didn't change your mind, so maybe you're write about that part. I don't care, if your hate of women makes you a better rape artist, I'm all for it. :^)

Thumbs up, buddy! You earned it!

MongoBongo said...

Ahhh... a troll then. Nicely done, sir. Nicely done indeed. Always appreciate a good trolling!

The roll-out was excellent. Nice subtle bait, short and to the point. But think you pressed too hard in the second post, given my non-committal response. I had sarcasm which indicates a certain level of defensiveness, however I had not fully taken the hook. And while your 2nd post had the savagery to put the victim on the backfoot and drive them completely to defense (good technique btw!), there was just too much of something to prevent me from completely buying in. Not sure exactly what it was that warned me off. The "good white cop" part was brilliant! Maybe shoulda just stuck with that. Dunno. But if you polish up that second post I think you have solid gold!

And of course can't fault you for the 3rd post. You gotta go for the Hail Mary and be offensive as possible when the mark isn't biting. Big risk for the big reward, sometimes it does work. Still all-around, a great try! And yes, of course you reply with either sarcasm that I must be right, or a simple protest that you aren't a troll - either method works well as a final attempt to try and sow the seeds of doubt. So please feel free to have the last word. Take your time and make it a good one!

Anonymous said...

"Everyone who disagrees with me is trolling. This is my defense mechanism kicking into overdrive. Here's my overly elaborate play-by-play breakdown that doesn't actually address the arguments presented (as I would lose that debate), but instead tries to cover all my bases a la '8 Mile rap battle style' so that even if I lose, I can't lose!"

Yeah I'm starting to realize now that no one's probably ever challenged you before. Like really challenged you. You're so used to thinking you're the smartest person in the room, right? Come on, admit it. You didn't expect anyone to really try to argue with you, and if they do they must be a troll. They *must* be, that's the only logical explanation. Because who would disagree with you, right? I get that, I really do. And at this moment you feel there's no reason to address any actual points raised (such as the fact that Jessica Jones really didn't have that many good black guys or evil white guys) because the "troll" (again, someone who disagrees with you and explained exactly why) isn't entitled to a serious argument.

You gotta protect your ego, you run a pretty tight ship and I'll be saying this for the 3rd time now: I really, REALLY love well-rendered rape scenes. Yeah I said it, I think they're great and by that I mean they really get my cock hard. You think I'm being sarcastic but I'm not. I LOVE your work. And I'm betting that in your line of work, you have to have at least some ego and I get that too. Really, I do. And I'd hate to hurt it because I frankly don't want it to negatively affect the stuff you put out.

But no, to get this out of the way, you're not going to convince me that I'm wrong anymore than I suspect I'm ever going to convince you that you're wrong. You can convince yourself of that, you can convince yourself that whether I'm right or wrong is irrelevant because I'm just trying to get a rise out of you and so I'm not worth getting worked up over.

But you are getting worked up. I could ask you again what kind of agenda you think is at play, if you really believe white men are under attack by Hollywood or Marvel or whoever even though most of their heroes are white, but I get the feeling I'd be wasting my time. I'm not expecting a legit reply from you because that ship has long since sailed. You can't engage on any level other than to cry "troll" because if you pushed that boundary, you might actually face the possibility of being wrong if you actually followed the logic all the way through. And that's not happening, you're not going to let it happen.

But me? I can keep this up indefinitely. Maybe you should disable comments so you can silence all opposing views other than those that align perfectly with your own. Or we can keep doing this. Either way, I'm game. Just please don't let it affect your work. I'm sure you have a lot of commissions lined up and I'd hate for you to miss your deadlines. But I really hope you don't let me have the last word on this. Because I'm starting to enjoy this. :)

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